Residence Life Rebellion
Fire alarms in the middle of the night, stereos blaring during final exam week, and roommates arguing over a murdered goldfish. Welcome to the world of the 21st Century RA and Residence Hall Director! Spoof University’s social scientists have been hard at work studying these and other baffling behaviors of the college resident student kind. Read on to learn more about some of their latest findings:
Top 5 Scientifically Proven Reasons Students Change Rooms
- 5. Room offers “no ocean view.”
- 4. Cinder blocks resemble jail cell student occupied after blowing up high school chemistry lab.
- 3. Roommate talks in his sleep about killing me.
- 2. Not enough space for pet goat.
- 1. Room is not co-ed!
Resident Assistant Party Break Up Guide
- The cylinder shaped object in the center of the room covered with a blanket is not a table!
- Vodka does not smell like water even though they both fall in the clear beverage category!
- Half empty cans of the same brand of beer does not constitute a beer can collection
- Test tube samples of open containers should be collected to rule out other liquids such as H2O, Gatorade, or human urine
